Kindness

We went to a family dance at the girls' school on Sat. and what I witnessed gave me hope that some people really are teaching their daughters to be kind and caring.  There was a line for face painting and true to form T was oblivious to all others waiting and marched right to the front.  She wasn't intentionally rude, she just saw the lady painting faces and everything and everyone else became irrelevant.  I could've jumped right in, but I sat back to see how she handled it.  Unfortunately, the ADULT face painter handled it very poorly and was extremely rude.  T was on the verge of tears and headed to the back of the line. Then the DJ got to her One Direction request at just the right moment and it was back to busting a move and stimming on all the lights.  After the song was over she walked back over to the face painting line and was sad and confused to see there were other people in the place she had been in.  I again started over, but stopped myself to see what would happen.  I'm so glad I did.  The 2 girls she'd been behind pulled her into line and put her in front of them.  Of course all those behind were upset and started voicing it.  These 2 girls both firmly told everyone that T was with them and they were saving her spot.  Standing in line has NEVER been her strong point.  There could literally be 1 person in front of her and she would still lose her shit.  Not to mention that she just gets distracted by something else, like she did with the One Direction song, and then not understand why she can't just come back to her old spot at any time.  Every time she started to wander off or whatever, those 2 girls redirected her and reminded her that if she wanted her face painted she needed to stay with them.  They talked her through it and shut down any complaining from the back of the line.  She happily got a huge snake painted on her face and then moved on to more dancing and stimming without realizing how awesome that moment just was.  I went and found the girls, shook their hands and told them Thank You for looking out for her.  Later I asked T who the girls were and if they're in her class.  She said neither are in her class. She knows one from school, but the other was just a cousin T had never met.  It's been a rough year with some kids saying some very hateful and hurtful things to her because she doesn't "fit the mold".  I know that will only continue and it breaks my heart, but this one act of true kindness and empathy gave me hope that there will be others who do the same.  And Thank You to the parents who are teaching your children what it truly means to treat ALL others as you want to be treated. 

Losing Teeth = Crime Scene?

Losing teeth is a right of passage.  For most kids it's a mysterious, exciting time they can't wait to share with others.  We've experienced multiple different things when T loses teeth.  It's ranged from crying and sad to give a part of herself up to us actually not even knowing she lost a tooth because she pulled it in hiding, afraid she would be in trouble for doing so.  Whatever the thoughts going through her head, it never changes the obsessing over said loose tooth and the compulsion to GET THAT SHIT OUT.  People throw OCD around very loosely.  This is the real deal, 24/7, CAN.NOT.STOP. at any cost.    That in combination with her ridiculous pain threshold is seriously frightening. 

I was enjoying my lunch....was being the operative word here.  T was upstairs doing T things...i.e. messing with that damn tooth.  My back was to her so when she came downstairs and said, "I got it out!", I was completely unprepared for what I was about to turn around and see.  She had fists full of blood-soaked toilet paper and blood all over her face and arms....and I mean ALL OVER.  It was  running out of her mouth.  Blood doesn't bother me.  It's all that blood combined with knowing how that tooth was only slightly wiggly this morning.  When she opened her mouth it did NOT look like a simple loose tooth pull.  Blood was POURING out of the socket....again another clear indicator of how hard she worked to get it out.  *shudder*  So yeah, even though there was blood everywhere, it was the thought of what it took to get that sucker out that made lunch suddenly seem like a very bad idea.  T, on the other hand was nothing, but relieved to have rid herself of whatever misery leaving that tooth alone was causing her amazing, little brain.  After plenty of rinsing and ice, the bleeding finally stopped and without missing a beat T asked for a plate of nachos.  So while I will probably have nightmares about this, she's moved on to more important things like familiarizing herself with facts about the venomous snakes of the world.
   
*Edited to add...

T: You know when I pulled that tooth?  Yeah, I didn't expect that much blood.  I was like, WHOA that's A LOT of blood.  I sure hope I make more.

Comfort Aspie Style

One thing you know you can count on with T is no-nonsense, bottom line info. regardless of the situation.  She's not trying to be harsh, she just sees the facts and doesn't feel the need to cover them up in other frilly, feel-good statements.  For example, when I was getting ready to go in for knee surgery she put me in a bear hug, laughed maniacally, and said "I love you and I hope you don't die during surgery", then ran off.  It took a lot for her to express that and I know it came from the bottom of her little heart.  So her knowing I'm really worried about my Grandma was cause for another of those heart to heart talks.  She sat down, put her arm around my shoulders and said, "I know you're worried about Grandma M.  I'm worried too and I don't want her to die, but if she does we can always go back to her house and take more stuff.  Oh, and you can always type her name into ancestry.com and look at her information.  That will remind you of her."  And of course, she jumped up and ran off.  Again, I know that came from a deep place of love and that those were just the logical answers in her mind....we're sad, but here's how we feel better...end of story.  Thank you T, you turned my sadness and tears into fits of maniacal giggling I hope was worthy of you.     

Turner Syndrome ONLY comes in Pink

I've been away from this blog thing for awhile and WHOA have some things happened since the last post.  We've now been introduced to Turner Syndrome, which I previously just vaguely remember from genetics class.  T had appendicitis in Sept. 2012.  If it wasn't enough for our oldest daughter to have emergency surgery, the surgeon came into recovery, threw some pictures down and said, "I saw something during surgery."  Given my history, the first thing I thought was that he found cancer.  Thankfully, that's NOT what he found.  That's not to say we were prepared in any way for what he did find...or for his complete lack of understanding how his horrible delivery impacted us.  The next thing he said was that what he found is "indicative of some syndromes" and that we should see a geneticist and endocrinologist right away.  No specific syndromes mind you, just "some syndromes".  Thankfully for us, the nurses were empathetic and closed curtains, brought tissues, etc. while we literally were unable to breathe. 
When we got back upstairs to the Peds. floor, the Drs. up there were much better equipped with empathy, language, and information.  The one thing we kept hearing was the likelihood that in addition to Asperger's, Turner Syndrome was something we needed to familiarize ourselves with.  They offered to do the blood draw an send off the karyotype for us so it would save us a trip to one more specialist. 
After over a month of waiting and worrying, we finally got the results.  T does in fact have Turner Syndrome.  Only women can have Turner Syndrome.  It occurs in roughly 1 in 2500 births, only an estimated 1% of fetuses make it to term, and 10% of miscarriages are caused by Turner Syndrome.  We never would've known she has TS until things started to or were lacking in her health and physical development. 
So jumping forward, T now has an endocrinologist who will monitor her every 3 mos. for the rest of her life.  She has been on growth hormone injections for 2 mos. now and will be on those until she's considered done growing....min. 7 yrs.  She also has a cardiologist.  Thankfully she doesn't have the 2 major congenital issues often associated with TS, but she's still at great risk for various other things impacting her heart including aortic dissection.  No nephrologist for now as her renal u/s at this point shows no abnormalities.  There seem to be countless implications for her health that are lifelong and pretty heavy duty. 
We all ready knew T was an incredibly special little lady, we just really had no idea how many statistics she beat to bless our lives as one of our daughters.  I could type an endless list of info. about TS or I can make this easy for us both and share a couple links if you'd like to peruse at your leisure and educate yourself.
www.turnersyndrome.org
http://www.turnersyndromefoundation.org/

These moments make it all worth it!

I often find myself wondering if we've made and are making the right choices for T...and the rest of our family.  Like every Thurs. a.m. when I round everyone up so we can be out the door by 6:45 and at OT by 7:00.  Or that over the last 4 years our house has been in various stages of a sensory integration wonderland.  Or how about driving 45 min. to social skills group and trying to fill an hour and a half up for our other girls who had to come along since J was working?  Not to mention all the Developmental Pediatrician appts., decisions about medication, etc.  So it's safe to say I'm frequently looking for validation that what we're doing is for the absolute best.  The gaps between those times are often long and progress isn't always easy to spot. 

So when T's school OT called yesterday to see if the goals she was planning on adding to her new IEP sounded good to me, I had no idea I'd get some serious validation and have happy tears welling up the rest of the day.  We talked about goals, we talked about progress and concerns.  Keep in mind that T's been at this school for 4 yrs. now and this is the first yr. this OT has been with her.  Out of nowhere she told me that she watches T and can clearly see she's made the progress she has because of all our hard work and intervention early in her life.  That thanks to our awareness and willingness to pursue those interventions, we've done so much to positively impact her life and give her the foundation to reach her fullest potential. 

Ms. S may or may not know just how much I needed to hear that, right at that moment.  Unprompted validation and encouragement are like my own little, shiny, gold nugget I can tuck away and bring out whenever things don't seem to be going so well and I'm nearing the breaking point.  These are the moments I live for, the moments that make it all worth it! 

What I saw today

I'm always wondering and let's be honest, worrying, about what T's day is really like at school.  Preschool and Kindergarten so closely involve the parents, but making that leap to 1st grade means a lot less direct conversations with the teacher(s).  T's team is very supportive and responds very quickly when I contact them, but we just don't have that daily full report like before.  Like all parents, I worry about how successful she is, if she has friends, etc.  Unlike all parents, as the mom of an amazing little lady who has Asperger's and really struggles with all things social, I worry about every little thing she says, or doesn't say that could stigmatize her and possibly set her up for being shunned, or worse. 

When I drop her off at school, I watch in the rearview mirror until I know she's safely in the gate and monitored by the appropriate people.  Today I noticed that she stopped beside one car and was waiting for the kids to get out.  I was smiling to myself as I thought she was waiting for a friend, or at least someone she knew.  The kids got out, didn't say a word to her, and walked right past her.  She continued to stand there.  They turned around and stared at her while she stayed exactly where she was, looking at their car and stimming.  I could read the looks on their faces and my heart sank.  Now I don't really know what about the car made her stop, but something clearly interested her and it wasn't the kids getting out of it.  She paid as little attention to them as they did to her.  I'm thankful that she didn't even slightly seem to notice the looks I saw on their faces.  She was locked onto whatever it was that caught her eye and set her brain in motion. 

I wish I could stop wondering and worrying.  I wish I could care as little as she seems to about the expressions of those around her when she's stimming and/or doing something others see as odd.  Let me be clear, it has nothing to do with embarrassment and everything to do with wanting others to see past those things to the beautiful, crazy-intelligent, loving, and fiercely loyal person T is.  Because I know too many people don't take the time to see beyond what they don't think is "normal".  Because people can be horribly cruel to anything or anyone they don't understand.  Because I'm her Mama and I love my girls with a fierceness you don't want to mess with.  Because we could all learn something from T...       

Our Parrot

Though T has TONS of independent vocabulary, she's always scripted certain things that stick in her memory.  A frequent favorite is anything to do with Clorox.  Don't ask me why, but she can work a Clorox commercial into pretty much any situation.  She's also fond of working herself into Disney episodes she's heard and/or creating her own promo, or putting herself into a movie theme and presenting it to unsuspecting people as something that's happening in her own life.  Thank goodness I know what she watches because the kid is more than a little believable when she does this.  After she saw the Hannah Montana finale she had her OT convinced we had to move out of our house and that we were all very sad, but we couldn't stay here.  So it really should've come as no surprise that she's started imitating things she randomly hears in passing from other people.  The other night we went out to dinner.  We were looking over the menus when our waitress came up to the table and asked if she could get our drinks.  Without missing a beat, T said, "I think we're just gonna' go hang out at the bar."  Now I do have to be proud of the fact that she was actually looking at the waitress when she said this.....you know, instead of looking at the ceiling or something.  The waitress either didn't hear her, or pretended that she didn't, so we moved right on into ordering drinks.  After she left I asked T why she said that.  Of course, no answer.  The husband, J, did hear where that came from, though.  Apparently as we were walking in, that exact interaction was happening between another guest and the hostess.  This skill is either gonna' get us in serious trouble or seriously work to our benefit.         

Praise: The Bitter Pill

I realize a lot of people have trouble accepting praise.  I just don't think they respond by turning into a belligerent sailor like T does.  Even on the best of days I know she's just trolling her internal card catalogue for the appropriate script that will get me to shut up and move on.  Our NT 5 yr old, M on the other hand, basks in the glory of any bit of praise thrown her way, like pretty much every other NT kid in the world. 

You'd think I'd learn my lesson and just hold T's praise, but yet again I'm an epic failure.  I mean seriously, how dare I wanna' throw a little glitter when she does something particularly awesome?!?  Today's incident happened after OT.  Her therapist and I were having the "after OT chat".  The OT was telling me what an amazingly great session she had.  You could see the change physically come over T as she heard this.  This isn't an "aw-shucks" kind of reaction, it's a "you must be stopped at all costs" reaction.  She flew off the floor and onto my lap, then actually tried to wrestle me down while covering my mouth with her hand.  She was growling at me that I need to stop and she doesn't want us talking about that.  Nothing was going to get through at that point so we just played it off like we were done talking and headed for the door.  Unfortunately, the damage was all ready done.  When we finally made it to the car, I was buckling K in and making sure M buckled when I realized there was no sign of T getting in on her side.  That would be because she was laying in the middle of the parking lot, oblivious to the fact that she had actually stopped traffic.  She was still wearing the scowl of doom so I knew I'd have to pick her up and force her in the car.  I may curse those damn child-locks when I actually want the kids to get out, but on days like today I at least knew she was locked in.  The 10 min. drive to school wasn't any better.  The venom was flying.  When we got to school, she was shocked that I didn't feel she was able and/or willing to walk in and find her teacher who meets us at the office on Thurs.  She glued herself to a NO PARKING sign and hurled insults at her teacher across the driveway.  After I pried her off there, drug her across the crosswalk, and handed her to her teacher, I.....ran like hell and jumped in my car.  In my defense, I did watch and make sure she wasn't actually being dangerous.  I really would've liked to hear what her and her teacher were saying to each other, but wasn't about to leave the safety of my car.  It only took 5 min. or so for T to meander inside with her teacher....God bless her. 

So why is praise such a bitter pill for T to swallow?  And why the hell can't I just learn to keep my mouth shut?  Because I keep looking for that one moment when I break through.  Seeing that even one time will make all the other times worth every second. 

You'll put the dress on and LIKE it!

Sometimes it's really hard not to laugh....or cry at the crazy shit that goes on here.  Today was one of those days that I was completely at a loss on how to get the point across.  T wanted M to play "dancing" with her.  That involved firing up the karaoke machine and in T's mind at least, putting on fancy dresses (my old dance recital costumes).  For whatever reason, M didn't want to put a dress on.  That's when things got batshit crazy up in here. 

I kept hearing that kids on the spectrum, in particular Aspies, feel the need to control who and what they're playing with at all costs.  T's never really played "with" anyone enough for me to see anything more than her being bossy. Whoa, I get it now.  Everything was great until M said she didn't want to put the dress on.  T literally came apart at the seams.  There was crying, flailing, hurling of insults.  She actually tackled her sister multiple times and told her, "I WILL get this dress on you!!!!".  How the hell do you not laugh at that?  I mean, it's not funny that M was on the receiving end, but T was completely maniacal at that point.  She kept chanting/screaming, "It's not fair.  It's my game so we play the way I want to!!!!  She's not following the rules!!".  I tried logic by telling her that when she plays her sister's game she'd have to....insert everything I could think of that she despises here...because then it would be M's game, M's rules.  That stopped her long enough for her to say, "Well, let's hope that doesn't happen.", before she went right back to it.  I tried compromise and told her M would play whatever she wanted to play as long as she didn't have to wear the dress.  That damn dress was the dealbreaker for reasons only known to T.  She then resorted to more physcial violence to see if she could beat her sister into playing.  She locked her in the freaking pantry while shouting, "Now are you going to put the dress on?!?".  I felt like we were in some alternate Silence of the Lambs universe, you know, "It rubs the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again".  This went on The.Entire.Day...

Like I said, hard not to laugh, cry, admit myself to the State Hospital.  I feel for T because it's clearly almost physically painful for her not to be in control of the situation and the "rules".  I also feel for M, and once she's old enough, K for being on the receiving end of something that makes NO SENSE to them.  And my husband wondered why we were all still in our PJ's when he got home from work...

I'm a terrible mom, or am I???

Everything is so black and white in T's world.  So is it wrong that I used her news-watching obsession and Casey Anthony as a reason why I'm not the "stupid, worst mother EVER" she often claims me to be?  You know, since it's so important to show the monster's new video every other news feed?  T asked what Casey Anthony did and at first I just said she made really bad choices.  With each time that damn video pops up on the TV, that answer is that much weaker in the eyes of that too smart for her own good mind.  So finally this morning when she kept pushing for details I caved and said, "She killed her baby."  That was met with, "Her very OWN baby?!?".  Yep, her very own baby.  So she processed that for awhile and then asked 1,001 other questions to which I cut off with a simple, "You know how you get angry and say I'm the meanest, most stupid, terrible mommy EVER?  Do you think I'm so bad now that you know there are mommies out there who do those things to their babies?  I love you and do everything I can to keep you safe.  I make rules so bad things don't happen to you."  I wouldn't say that to just any 6 yr old, but we're not talking about just any 6 yr old.  We're talking about T.  So I'll be awaiting her response, that is sure to come at bedtime after she's stored it all away and taken several hours to process it all. 

And "they" say she lacks empathy

Out of the blue today, T came to me and said, "My friend is homeless.  That makes me feel like crying."  Those statements damn near made me cry.  I asked her how she knows her friend is homeless and she said, "Because she told me she is."  (which is true btw)  So right now she's outside questioning her 5 yr old sister about what it means to be homeless, if her sister cares their friends are homeless, and asking what they can do.  What was a little disturbing at first when she told me they're "playing homeless", turns out to be her way of expressing her upset and empathy for her friend's situation. 
There's all this talk about people with autism not showing and/or feeling empathy.  I think the complete opposite is true, at least of my dear T.  I believe emotions and feelings hit her so much more intensely than the majority of the NT population.  Just because someone doesn't react the way society expects doesn't mean it's wrong or absent. She may state to you that she's concerned and feels like crying (without shedding a tear or missing a beat), and I believe that is absolutely true.  I also believe in order to harness all she does feel that she has to give it in a "just the facts ma'am" way.  You see, that same 6 yr old who's stating info. in a direct, no nonsense way, is also the one who will be up at 3 am a month from now, crying about her friend's situation and worrying ceaselessly about her and the things we discussed today.  How many NT people can you say that about?

Damn that Aspie memory!

Something you never think you'll witness your child doing...throwing AZ snowballs (giant marshmallows) at Santa while shouting, "You're NOT Santa!!  I saw Santa last weekend and you don't look like him, you look stupid!"  Keep in mind she's 6, because she then asked to see his driver's license for proof of his identity.  That's when you're torn between being a good mom and correcting the behavior or standing back with a shocked expression like everyone else, while looking around to see where that girl's obviously horrible parents are.  

You see, there are many times I absolutely love how amazing her little memory is.  I can't remember what street we turn on, where I parked the car, someone's name....or their dog's name and age...and then there's the really important shit, make and model of the car they drive, what they wore when we saw them last, the date a show comes on so I can be certain to DVR it.  Remembering every minute detail about the last Santa we saw and verbally assaulting this one, yeah, not so much.  Oh, and there are bonus points, we were at church while visiting this Santa.  She was completely disgusted with this blatant imposter, who by the way actually had a real Santa beard vs. the fake beard "real" Santa was wearing.  It was clearly about who we saw first and not about quality of facial hair.  It always comes back to facial hair for us, doesn't it?  Any way, I clearly learned my lesson.  From here on out we will only be seeing one Santa each Christmas...or we'll be hiding in the back while T publicly berates any Santas unlucky enough not to be the first.

Out of the mouth of a 6 yr old...

We were talking about school starting.  Let's say T is less than enthused about getting a new teacher this yr.  She truly doesn't get why she can't take her kinder teacher through college.  So I was saying silly things to get her mind off it.  I told her she didn't want to miss out on seeing if A was still in her class. The giggling stopped, she turned around, stomped her foot...with hands on hips and said, "YOU stay out of MY love life!".  Seriously, how do you keep a straight face?!?  What the hell is going to happen when she's a teenager?!?

Literally

We often forget how much slang, how many idioms, euphemisms, etc. that we use on a regular basis and just how hard those things can be to decipher when you have a very literal way of thinking.  J was talking to T about what she could do differently next time we try camping.  He said something like, so you'll cut it out next time and not have to be so wild.  T's response was, "But I don't have any scissors.  I can't cut something out if I don't have any scissors.  And why would I cut something out when I'm camping?".   

I'm the DAUGH-TER

People just don't get that jokes mean nothing to T.  OK, they do mean something, but generally all they mean is that the person joking around is S-T-U-P-I-D.  lol  We were at a friend's party today and the girls were swimming.  Someone asked T what her name is and she told him very matter of fact, "My name is Trinity."  He thought he was being funny and asked, "Which one are you, the Father, Son, or Holy Ghost?".  Without missing a beat she put her hands on her hips, gave him the "are you really that stupid" look, and said, "I'm the DAUGH-TER."  It was totally like "THE BLESS-ING" from Christmas Vacation.  Classic!

The Rules of Facial Hair

"Boys don't have beards.  Only men have beards.  Boys CAN'T have beards!"

Who knew those statements would decide where our family can and can't go?  So let's back up to last month.  When we went to the HFA/Asperger's monthly meeting one of the usual Hab. workers brought a friend.  This friend was in his late teens, very early twenties would be pushing it I'm guessing.  As soon as T saw this young man she was on a mission to escape.  Rather than getting the social exposure and interaction she was there for, she ended up on my lap with her ears covered while I rocked her for the entire hour and a half.  I being the stupid neurotypical that I am, made the leap and assumed it was too noisy and/or chaotic for her.  That may have been a contributing factor, but it wasn't until the next day that I was able to get the whole story.  You see, the friend has a goatee and that really messed with T's mind.  He didn't do or say anything that bothered her, it's that damn facial hair that offends her.  I asked her why it's a problem and she simply said, "Boys don't have beards.  Only men have beards.  Boys CAN'T have beards!!  And HE's  a BOY!!"  It had nothing to do with being afraid of men with facial hair, she simply couldn't stand the sight of someone who would blatantly break the rules like that. 

We had a month until the next meeting and she's always loved going.  I really thought in a month she'd decide that his "beard" was OK.  Flash forward a month and the next meeting was last night.  I let her know that it was meeting time again.  She instantly said she was staying home because J might bring his friend again and she did NOT want to see him.  I told her that it was likely that he might not come, but she really just couldn't take that chance.  She actually looked completely disgusted and angry when she said, "I CAN'T look at him."  I reminded her of how much fun she has when we go and told her she didn't have to look at him at all if he happened to be there.  She obviously wanted to go because she resorted to asking me to get on the group's website and check to see if he'd be there.  I'm certain she thought I was being shady when I told her the computer wouldn't tell me if J's friend would be there or not.  You know, because the computer tells us everything else, so why wouldn't it tell us that?  Nothing helped convince her it would turn out all right so she chose to stay home with her dad and sister.  She was asleep when I got home last night, but the first question she asked me this morning was, "Was that BOY there?".  When I told her that he didn't come with J last night, she said, "UGH, well I should've gone to that meeting then!". 

I guess I need to ask her what the acceptable age is for having facial hair.  Then I'm gonna' need every possible male we might encounter to adhere to those rules.   Don't worry, we'll give you a heads up so you have time to shave that day if you don't meet the man requirements.

Pain....take 2

So this is just building on T's frightening pain tolerance.  She was climbing in her friend's car after school.  He was trying to help her get the door closed, when he accidentally shut her big toe in the door.....completely closed.  She calmly told him to open the door and let her foot out.  I thought by the way she acted that maybe it was just her shoe that got caught.  Then I looked back at her, saw she was bleeding and her toenail had been bent back.  I'm freaking out and she's looking at me like I've gone and lost my damn mind!  I jumped out, ran around, and pulled her out of the car to get a better look at it.  Her friend, who also has autism, was really starting to worry over her.  He kept telling her it was going to be OK and trying to console her.  At that point she decided she's supposed to act hurt so she put on a fake whimper and said ouch, not very convincingly I might add.  You know how bad getting shut in a door hurts.  And how it makes you come very close to peeing yourself when a nail gets bent back.  I cleaned it up and put a bandaid on.  She never so much as mentioned it again.  Even the next day when it was all bruised and should've been pretty sore.  Thinking about it makes me shudder.  

Pain...is it all in the mind?

I've been aware of T's extremely high pain threshold pretty much since she started moving.  She's always been the kid who has to be really hurt to cry.  Things that make other kids sob and seek solace, only make her jump up and keep going.  I have this crazy fear that some day she'll need x-rays and they'll show multiple old fractures we never knew she had. 
Yesterday, I was in the front yard talking to my neighbor's daughter and grandson.  We just met them yesterday, and they came down to meet us because like T, L is on the spectrum.  The kids went inside to play a little.  I really wasn't worried because well, if our house is safe for T to be in, it's safe for anyone to be in.  Besides, the door was open and we could hear their every move.  That would lead you to believe that if one of my children was hurt and trailing blood behind her, we'd certainly know that immediately.  Apparently, I was very mistaken.  We were chatting about autism, and strangely enough, high pain tolerance, when T came out the front door and said she hurt her foot.  She wasn't crying, so I looked at her foot and that's when I saw the blood dripping all over the sidewalk.  I couldn't really tell where or what the injury was because her entire foot was covered in blood.  I asked her what happened and she told me she stepped on the dog brush/undercoat rake and, brace yourself, it was stuck in her heel.  I asked her if she pulled it out and her very logical Aspie self said, "Well yeah.  That's the only way I could come get you!".  Like I once again showed myself to be completely ignorant. 
I'm sure most parents would've been mortified to witness that whole thing, not to mention not wanting their kid to ever come over to my house again.  She actually remained calm and said, "Don't worry, this stuff is happening at our house all the time too."  *sigh of relief from me*
I brought T in cleaned it up more, got her to lay down so I could look at it, and got the bleeding stopped.  Through all that, the most she ever did was whimper that it hurt.  She never actually shed any tears.  I don't know if it really hurt or if she was just freaked out and thought that's what she was supposed to do and say.  I mean, it should've hurt like hell!!!  She probably sat and whimpered for all of five minutes before she was up and running around on it again.  It's bruised and has to be sore today, but she hasn't even mentioned it.  It makes me a little sick to my stomach to think of the possible injuries she could sustain as she gets older...

Progress?

I was needing a shower today, but am never certain it's a good idea when I'm the only adult in the house.  I did the usual checking of all locks, hiding of all keys, etc.  I then asked if the girls thought they could make good choices if I took a shower.  Of course M immediately said, "YES!".  And I don't doubt that was true.  T's immediate answer was, "Well, probably not if I stay downstairs.  I probably can if I go upstairs in your room.".  Again, I'm certain this was the absolute truth. 
I know this would never sound like something to blog about in the neurotypical world.  In our world though, I'm pretty sure this is a sign of progress.  Not because T still has no impulse control and will do pretty much anything at any minute it pops in her head, but because at least she's recognizing it and putting it into words.
So we all went upstairs so Mama could go ahead and risk that coveted shower.  We made it through with only some relativiely minor bad choices which M informed me of play by play. 
I definitely call it progress for T to be able to alert me to disaster in the making so I can plan accordingly.

Peace, Love, and Pizza Party

T has really been struggling at school, and I mean really struggling.  It all really goes back to the whole no impulse control and no internal filter thing.  She has absolutely no tolerance for anything or anyone she doesn't find interesting, and has no problem letting everyone know it.  She's fired everyone who works with her except her kinder teacher.  I have no idea how or why Mrs. McC has yet to get the axe, but we're going with it.  T not only fires them, she makes sure they know she's personally going to see to it they never teach again.  It's really hard not to be amused by some of the things she comes up with.  I know she's being inappropriate and needs to be corrected, but man the kid is so smart and witty without having a clue that she is.
We've been brainstorming and trying to figure out how to help her get a little more control and improve her behavior.  Without consulting anyone, the assistant principal decided he'd offer her a pizza party if she could get her behavior under control.  Her kinder teacher and I weren't exactly impressed with this idea, but figured it's his problem to deal with.  The funny thing is that it's actually working!  He asked her how many days she thinks she should have to get through before she can have said pizza party.  She chose the magic number 11.  I had my doubts about that as well.  As hard as it's been for her, 11 days of positive behavior seemed like scaling K2!  I'm glad her kinder teacher had the sense to tell him it couldn't possibly be an all or nothing thing.
The assistant principal made a chart with 11 peace signs on it.  Each day that her behavior is acceptable enough, she gets to go into his office and color a peace sign before going home.  She has a laminated picture of him to use in her picture schedule.  It's kind of funny and creepy to see her carrying around a laminated picture of her assistant principal, but hey it's part of her schedule and it's working, so whatever.  It's been about a month and as of today we're at 10 peace signs!  If she can make it just one more day, we may be eating pizza in the office by the end of the week. 
How long do you think it will be before she ups the ante on him?  I hope he's creative and ready to play now that he's started this adventure!